Not Quite Back
by she began to dance
Summary: It's not like he expected her to run through the gates and jump into his arms the second she got back.


Howl was the last person to know that she arrived.

He hadn't been on guard that day, but even so, that wouldn't have stopped him from finding out sooner. He was around all of the White Lotus guards all day and not one of them seemed to mention it, seemed to care. If it weren't for his walk around the compound later that night, he probably wouldn't have found out she had been there at all for at least a few days before he started guard again.

He had been walking when all of a sudden a rush of wind passed him and next thing he knew, he was covered in snow. He heard laughter a few feet away and he rubbed his eyes free of the snow crystals gathering on his eyelashes to catch sight of her. She had Naga running in circles, chasing a snow creature she was bending to run before them. Howl took off his helmet to wipe off the snow covering the top when the snow creature fell into water at his feet.

"Hey, Howl," Korra grinned down at him and kicked his side playfully. He squinted up at her and shook his head, putting his helmet back on.

"Korra," he nodded and continued walking the opposite direction of her.

Korra paused for a few seconds in shock before she regained her composure and caught up with Howl, Naga keeping pace, if not a little slower. "What's wrong?"

Howl avoided looking up again out of fear of her signature pout. He knew she was doing it and he refused to become just like that snow creature, turning weak and splattering into nothing under her gaze. She could do that to him and for some reason, it angered him. She should not have this kind of effect on him. No—he shouldn't _let _her have this kind of effect on him. He never thought of himself as weak, but when he was around her, he didn't have any choice.

"Do you want me to put Naga back or are you going to do it yourself?" he asked calmly.

There was a long silence and if it weren't for Naga still walking beside him, he would've thought she had walked away. But he knew she was still sitting up there, her legs dangling on either side of the polar bear dog's sides. He didn't look up at her.

It's not like he expected her to run through the gates and jump into his arms the second she got back. If their relationship was anything, it was a secret. Sure, they could be seen sometimes walking together, like they are now, but the guards never really thought anything of it. He was here to watch her and protect her and, to them, walking beside her, he was doing just that. The guards never really paid much attention to the details.

He shifted his steps awkwardly to match Naga's and was about to speak up again before he was lifted up into the air, Naga's mouth clamped down tightly on the back of his uniform, and thrown onto Naga's back. Korra sat closely behind him, his back pressed against her chest. He began to protest when Korra's arms landed over his, her hand digging into Naga's fur.

"Let's go for a ride, Howl," she murmured into his ear. He stiffened suddenly at her voice and the feel of her behind him and before he could answer, Naga was running smoothly out the open gate and into the snow. He hurriedly tried to glance up to see if any of the guards were up there, watching, but Korra wrapped her arm around his shoulder and her head rested against his other shoulder, and he was forced to look at her accusing look. "You really think I'm that stupid?"

"Korra, I—"

"I was waiting for you when I came back. Why weren't you there?" she had her eyes closed and she was smiling but he took it seriously. He would not fall back against her no matter how hard she tried to get him to.

"It wasn't my day," Howl stated, his eyes shifting to look forward as best as he could. It seemed Naga was just running wherever she wanted to go but still wary of the two of them on her back.

"Mm," Korra mumbled and shut her eyes tighter, the hand that wasn't resting on his upper arm digging into Naga's fur, coaxing her faster. "I'm sorry you're mad."

"I'm—" Howl sighed. "I'm not mad." Not at her, at himself, now at least. He gave in and that made her smile, the taunting smile he knew she wore when something went her way or when she was planning something. She was always able to make him do what she wanted, but always stopped when she thought it was uncomfortable for him. That's what he liked about her, the fact that she would go all out but stop when it got out of hand. For once, Howl smiled.

"Good," Korra whistled and stopped, her paws skidding against the snow as she sat down abruptly and let Korra and Howl fall off her back. Her tongue hung out and she thumped her tail loudly against the ground, licking Howl's face. He groaned at the impact of the ground and realized, with a sudden horror, that he landed on top of Korra.

"Korra? I'm so sorry, are you ok?" he quickly moved over but she wasn't under him after all. She was standing up right beside him, smirking. She took his hand and pulled him up, brushing the snow off of him, and walked up to Naga. She quickly put Naga away as he stood there awkwardly, adjusting his uniform every time he thought he felt eyes watching him. There weren't any, of course, he realized since there were no guards in sight besides him. Which was odd, but he guessed they figured that he was out so they didn't have to be.

"C'mon," Korra grabbed his hand again and pulled, his feet stumbling around each other. She let go and stepped a few inches away from him as his eyes caught sight of a few guards walking their way. They greeted her and she smiled, turning down a path that led them down to the igloos. She didn't take his hand again as they weaved through each igloo until she reached her own. She paused; her jaw set, she swung open the door, quickly shutting it back closed after her.

Howl stared at the door before him and raised an eyebrow. He didn't know what to do. Surely her parents would be in there.. did that mean he should go? No, no, he's been with Korra long enough to know that she was up to something and that shutting the door in his face without any farewell meant that he were to stay put and wait. He stood with his back against the door and waited, watching the sun set, the snow fumbling with the wind against the ice. It grew dark too quickly and before he realized it, he was a shadow. He couldn't hear anything through the door. Korra never took _this_ long, he thought. She was hard to read that way. Sometimes she did things that she never explained, never made sense to anyone but her.

Howl was going to set off, setting to explain why to her tomorrow, when the door cracked open. "What's taking you so long?" she whispered.

"What?" Howl gasped at the breeze. Korra laughed and pulled him inside. His eyes took long to adjust to the newfound light inside the igloo.

"I sent you a sign, didn't you see it?" she breathed into his ear as she lifted his helmet off and ruffled her fingers through his hair. He tried grabbing the helmet, tried to just send himself off, he didn't want to be a secret while her parents were in the other room.

"They're asleep, Howl," Korra sighed, letting the helmet fall onto the ground with a thump. She chuckled as his eyes widened at the sound but they softened as her hand fell to rest on his cheek. "Come with me, okay?"

"No," he shook his head and bent down to pick up his helmet. "No, Korra, I—I can't. I have to…" he searched for an excuse to leave but nothing he would say would make her believe him. She knew him inside and out for all the time they've spent together. It was likely that she would forget all the little details when she went to Republic City, likely she would have forgotten him entirely with all the news he got of pro-bending tournaments and new friends that the guards spoke of as something more than just the usual teammates.

"You're not you anymore," she bowed her head and sighed, dragging her feet to the couch in her living room. She flopped face down on top of it. "Before I left, all you mmmofjspfos," she tried reasoning, her words getting muffled by the pillows she was talking on. Howl sat awkwardly on the side and patted her head.

"I am still me," Howl said smiling. Korra looked up and frowned at his smile which caused Howl to frown too. "What?"

"You're not, you're different, what happened here while I was gone?" she prodded out a confession she thought she was seeking. "Did someone find out? Did a guard? Did my _parents_?"

"No, no," he soothed, brushing her hair back. He laughed nervously at the thought of anyone finding out about them, but relaxed. Nobody would find out about them. Howl was a guard and he knew the other guards better than Korra did. And Korra knew her parents and her masters better than he did, they could avoid both of them and be together. "I just—I dunno, I thought maybe you had forgotten about me, that's all."

"Forgotten?" Korra's disbelief rang through her sudden high pitched voice. Howl shushed her hastily, looking around the room. Korra's eyes narrowed as she stood up and dragged him to her room suddenly, locking the door calmly after them. She turned around and shot an accused finger at him. "You think I forgot you?"

"Well, I—" Howl was uncomfortable under her piercing gaze. "I think I was the only person who didn't know you were here. I hadn't seen you at all, nobody even _mentioned_ you were here, I thought maybe you were… ignoring me? Trying to…" he tried to find the right words but they just wouldn't come to him. He was a guard, he was to know when the Avatar was back, and since he didn't find out until after every other guard, he thought maybe she had been back longer than he thought, trying to stay away from him as best as possible. "I thought, since you know, you made new friends with those two boys—what are their names, Borin? M—"

"Bo_l_in and Mako," she said through gritted teeth. "And what do they have to do with anything? I didn't have any time to see you and plus, you weren't around, so how was I to know that you didn't know I was back? It's not like I can just run up to you and start fucking around—"

"Wait, what?" now it was Howl's turn to be in complete shock. "Do you know what you're even saying, Korra? I told you, I wasn't mad, and I'm not blaming your friends, I just—oh spirits, never mind, I'm not even making sense anymore. Just forget it."

Howl didn't even know what they were fighting about anymore, what even brought him to think that it was.. her fault? No, his? He didn't know. He didn't even know the problem, what he was worrying about, why she was acting like this. "Maybe I should just go.."

"No," Korra shook her head and sighed. "No, no I guess you're right. I mean, I should've made it obvious that I was here. It's just—I was rushed over to my parents and the guards followed. I had to tell them all in secret, there were only a few people who could know—"

"Know what?"

"—I dunno why they didn't call you over, but I guess that's because you weren't around anywhere, and—"

"Korra, what are you saying?"

Korra took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I was attacked. On my way back. The Equalists, you've heard of them right? It wasn't a big deal, really, I got rid of them fine, but I guess someone found out, I wasn't that far from here, and they rushed me to hear what happened as soon as I got in, I didn't have time to find you. I'm sorry."

Howl sighed. He had heard of the Equalists from the other guards who went to Republic City to gather Korra up when she ran away. They said that they saw a guy preaching out on the streets about benders and their (presumed) superiority against the non-benders.

"Korra, it's not your fault, I'm the one who thought it. I was stupid, I don't expect to be informed you're here for reasons other than guarding you."

"No, you should. I left and we're still, how do I put it… seeing each other," at her questioning look, Howl nodded, displaying a small smile. "and even though nobody knows, It's still important to inform one another about… ugh, this is not working, I have no idea how to be casual about this."

"It's okay," Howl laughed and sat down on her bed, leaving his helmet to rest on the floor. "I get what you're saying. I'm just not thinking about being a guard, I'm thinking about us, and while that's important, I'm still a White Lotus guard and that's my job. I can't risk it by worrying about you forgetting me."

"Ironic," The old Korra gone in just seconds, the taunting smile finding its way onto her lips, she climbs on top of his lap, her legs circling his waist. "Since you're here, totally risking your job in ways you have not voiced."

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow and smirked, his hand resting protectively against the small of her back, the other resting on the back of her neck. He pulls her head towards him and crushes his lips to hers.

Korra smirked against his lips and prodded his mouth open with her tongue, gliding it against his lip and biting softly, eliciting a small gasp from him, a perfect entrance. She circled her hands around his shoulders before pushing him down on his back so that she was sitting on his waist and he was looking up at her. She smiled, batted her eyes innocently, and bent down, running the tip of her tongue lightly against his neck. Howl bit his lip and lifted his head up so she had more room, but she didn't take it. Instead, she moved her lips up to his ear and bit down lightly causing Howl to gasp unexpectedly.

"H-how long are you back for?" Howl managed to breathe the question out as Korra moved her lips back to his.

"Just a few days," Korra said into his mouth, kissing him again. He moved his fingers against her hair and down onto her shoulders, pressing his fingers into her skin. She shifted her position lower and began peeling off his uniform when an urgent knock came at her door.

"Korra? Korra, are you in here? Open up," it was her dad. Howl looked at the door, confused. Korra bit her lip and cursed soundlessly to herself.

"Dad, what is it?"

"There's a group of those people you said were following you—those Equalists—around the compound. There are some White Lotus guards here to sneak you out. We'll hold them off until we know you're safely away. I know you just got here, I was hoping we'd get to spend more time together, but..." they heard him sigh. "You need to go, Korra."


End file.
